Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Girls should come with a carfax report
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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