I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
As shirtless as possible
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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