Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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