i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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