So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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