yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
