big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
