the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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