She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
