He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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