# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize