My pussy is not your playground.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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