is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
