You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
