Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
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so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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