Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
