Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
