he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
