He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
