What did we do last night that was yellow?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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