what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
