I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
