Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
