This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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