If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
