Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
