i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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