I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
