And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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