That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
