they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
being pregnant is like rehab
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize