I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
