I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
