butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
