3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Everything about him screamed your future.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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