No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
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Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
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ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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