My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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