On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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