This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
