He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
