OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
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He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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