What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
