hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
