Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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