If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
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