I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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