grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
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Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
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That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick