fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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