So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
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Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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