You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
