nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize