I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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