Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I deserve this hangover.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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