Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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