wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
