Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
