she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
