so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
