morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
