my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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