As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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