wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
