Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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