Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
