I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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