I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Randomize
