I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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