I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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