i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
